SuperMe

It's amazing how unlucky the people who live in Hollyoaks and Albert Square are. Every episode a crisis. Some drama in real life is avoidable. It's all about how you think about it.

Imagine you're watching the TV series of your own life. When something turns up that has drama written all over it, switch your view from being on-screen star, to irate sofa shouter. And then listen to what you're shouting.

Taking a step back and thinking about things from the outside can help you avoid bad habits and negative thoughts.

Oh and, never move to Forks, Washington or invite James over. It'll only end badly.

Photo by CJ Sorg

Expressive writing has been shown to be massively beneficial for getting over trauma, but more recently it's been show to be useful for everyday happiness and improving mood.

When talking about things isn't helping, writing things down can help to make sense of your thoughts and feelings. And even better: to help find solutions.

How to begin:
1. Write down what has happened, or is happening in detail.
2. Write down how you feel about it, and describe your feelings. Don't worry about spelling, just get it all out.
3. Think of one thing, big or small that will begin to make you feel better. This could be as simple as getting a good night's sleep, talking to someone you're upset with or finding a distraction for a few hours.

You can do this as often as is helpful, or even use an emergency diary to store your thoughts. Remember to keep it somewhere safe.

To get it out of your head.

To know your own mind.

To see the flawed thoughts.

To get the emotion outside of you.

To be honest.

To see how things weigh up. The pros. The cons.

To practice telling somebody else.

To remember.


Photo by The Shopping Sherpa

Your best mate has just been dumped by their boyfriend/girlfriend. Do you:

a) Lock them in their room and tell them that they're probably never going to get anyone to love them, ever. They broke everything. Basically, they are a waste of oxygen.

b) Take them out to the cinema (anything except a rom-com) and tell them: better luck next time.

It's a pretty easy choice* but would you pick the same option for yourself as you would your mate?

Next time you notice that you're being down on yourself, check yourself. 'Would I say that to my best friend?' If not, be kinder to yourself.

Photo by roland

*the answer was b), best steer well clear of anyone who answered a).

Verbalising pointless negative thoughts will make them more real.

The Challenge: Try not to complain about anything for 24 hours.

Tips
1. Write yourself a reminder of what you're doing, somewhere that you'll see all the time.

2. Keep score of the number of times you nearly whinge.

3. Don't give up if you accidentally complain about something, either reset the 24 hours or keep a tally of how many slip-ups you make.

4. Fix, or ditch, a problem instead.

5. Try and identify 'useful' complaints and whether or not they're worth failing the challenge for.
If someone is stealing your bike = complain. You can't find your sock = don't.

6. Think of things that you are grateful for, instead.

When you freak out and panic, outcomes seem more extreme than they are likely to be. Here's a simple trick to help you back to the land of reason.

1. Write down the situation.
EXAMPLE: Mum's threatening to leave Dad.

2. Imagine the absolute worst outcome. Really go for it.
EXAMPLE: Mum will leave. Dad will lose his job. Mum will marry someone else. Dad will get depressed. I'll have to look after him and drop out of school.

3. Imagine the absolute best outcome.
EXAMPLE: They'll break up and be really happy apart. I'll get two birthday presents, have an XBox AND a PS3, go on twice as many holidays and get a really cool older step-brother.

4. Imagine something between 2 and 3.
EXAMPLE: They might have some time apart, and they'll probably be a bit down to start with or maybe even happier apart. Things will be different for a while but manageable.

By imagining the extremes, it becomes easier to reach a more likely outcome.

Photo by Connah

Ask someone you trust what they think you’re best at. It might be that everyone is impressed by something you've been taking for granted.

Photo by theDQT

Imagine it's the end of your life. You're 82 years old, you've had a good innings and now you're checking out.

What would the story of your life be? Write it down. What would have happened to you? If you stay on the path you're on now, realistically what would you have achieved and what would people say about you?

Now think about what you'd like that story to be. What you wish to achieve. What you'd like people to say about you.

Do those two things match up? If they don't, work out what the steps to your new life would be. And then, one by one, make the changes happen.

Scared of failing? Go here.

Photo by wadem

Whatever bad things happen in your life, nothing can take away your smile.

Try smiling and thinking of things in perspective. If you have difficulty putting things in perspective, try this little cheat.

Written by Jucelen Ramos and submitted on the Facebook Group

Photo by Brittney Vaux