SuperMe

It's amazing how unlucky the people who live in Hollyoaks and Albert Square are. Every episode a crisis. Some drama in real life is avoidable. It's all about how you think about it.

Imagine you're watching the TV series of your own life. When something turns up that has drama written all over it, switch your view from being on-screen star, to irate sofa shouter. And then listen to what you're shouting.

Taking a step back and thinking about things from the outside can help you avoid bad habits and negative thoughts.

Oh and, never move to Forks, Washington or invite James over. It'll only end badly.

Photo by CJ Sorg

The tiniest of choices carries with it the stress of getting it wrong. Our brains are wired in a way that allows us to try and project our decisions on to the future. And that can be super stressful.

Psychologist Dan Gilbert taught students how to take photos and develop them in a dark room. The students could develop their two favourite photos, but then were told they could only keep one.

One group could change their minds and swap their choice over within the next four days. Group two had to make a final decision straight away. No returns.

After one week, the students who had to make an immediate choice were all happier with the picture they ended up with. And the people who made a quick decision about which photo to keep were, again, happier.

Try and make decisions quickly. Try not to deliberate. And no matter what choice you make, don't regret it and it will be the best choice.

Photo by Zemlinki

Do you see a stapler or a whale?

What you see depends on how you look. If the way you're looking or thinking about something makes you feel sad or angry, try changing your approach to focus on the positive.

Been dumped? Yeah, you could sit around feeling like there's something wrong with you, or that you're not good enough but you could also think that perhaps that person didn't have enough love, or wasn't right for you and that somewhere out there is someone who does, and is.

You can use this rethinking trick in all kinds of situations.



Photo by Anita Canita.

The heavy feeling of guilt is quite useful, because it let's you know that you've done something or said something you shouldn't. But, once you've taken note of it, it really doesn't have much more of a positive use.

So, you're either going to do something about it, or you're not. If there's nothing you can do it's time to vacuum seal the guilt and move on.

How?

Make a mental picture of the 'thing' being sealed up and discarded. What does it smell like? What colours can you see? Embellish the act of throwing it away.

Think about what you learned from the situation, and what is better about now because of it.

Think: What did I learn from the situation, and what is better about now, because of it?

Move on.

Photo: Helga